The Centre Left has come by the following confidential letter, apparently written in the early hours of this morning following yesterday's local elections:
10 DOWNING STREET
LONDON SW1A 2AA
THE PRIME MINISTER
06 May 2011
Just a quick note: I really wanted to say how sorry I am about the election results. Gutted for you. We seemed to do ok, of course, despite all the moaning about the cuts, but there you go (tried to warn you about AV, old chap. Terribly fickle things, electorates).
Anyway, onwards to 2015, eh? I’m sure we can work out whatever little differences there remain between our parties. After all, you’re not going anywhere any time soon, are you! Only joking.
Seriously, I shouldn’t worry too much. After all, lightning rarely strikes twice in the same place, does it?
Yours in friendship,
PS A real shame about Sheffield. The knives are out, eh? (pardon the pun)